Most songs about love fall into two categories. Some come from the perspective of someone who has just lost their love and is lamenting their sorrow. Others celebrate loves that are currently in bloom. “I Miss You”, a gem from Randy Newman off his 1999 album Bad Love, manages to split the difference. He writes it from the stability of his second marriage about his lingering feelings for his first wife, as well as his regret for how that first marriage fell apart.
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Feeling the “Need”
Randy Newman has never shied away from the frailty and weakness of the human condition in his songs. Other songwriters might not be comfortable getting into such dark corners of the heart and the psyche. But Newman leads with honesty, first and foremost, and it’s always served him well.
In many cases, Newman has taken on the personae of untoward, even vile characters to achieve this effect. But even when he’s writing from an autobiographical standpoint, he isn’t afraid to reveal parts of himself that might not be all that sympathetic.
By the time Newman released “I Need You”, he was already about nine years into his marriage to his second wife and 14 years removed from divorcing his first. Nonetheless, he addresses his first wife in the song in fearless fashion. As he explained in an interview with The Guardian, both women had to pay the price of associating with a confessional songwriter:
“My first wife and second wife and kids, they know I’m going to do what I have to do. I don’t know how ruthless I am but it’s so important to me that I don’t care about anyone’s feelings. I sometimes wonder whether that is a pose – ‘The ruthless writer, he really doesn’t care’ – but I really do feel that way. If I can get a song out of it, I don’t much care about myself or anyone else.”
Examining the Lyrics of “I Miss You”
What’s striking about “I Miss You” is how straightforward Newman is throughout the song. He doesn’t cloak anything in metaphor or try to convey his emotions through poetic devices. It feels like there’s no filter between what he’s thinking and feeling and what’s coming out of his mouth as he sings the lovely, mournful melody.
He frames the act of writing about his ex as an act of self-preservation: “I couldn’t allow / Myself to feel / The loss that I feel right now,” he sings. And he realizes that his efforts to reach out and communicate are tardy: “And it’s a little bit late / Twenty years or so.”
The length of time passed might have caused irreparable damage to their tenuous relationship. “It’s a little bit cold / For all those concerned,” he admits. That’s when he cops to his innate selfishness as an artist. “And I’ll sell my soul and your souls for a song / So I’ll pour my heart out.”
Note that he apologizes for saying that he misses her, as if he’s encroaching upon some unspoken agreement. He undercuts his warm memories and earnestly apologizes by admitting that she might not be taking them in the spirit that was intended. “You must be laughing yourself sick / Up there in Idaho.”
Newman ends the song with startling directness, considering the nature of their relationship. “I miss you / And I still love you so.” “I Miss You” fearlessly saunters into a relationship gray area. It’s the kind of territory where other songwriters fear to tread. But it has always represented fertile territory for the incomparable Randy Newman.
Photo by Alan Messer/Shutterstock
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