Exclusive: Naomi Judd, Remembering Mama Judd Three Years Later

I didn’t know Naomi Judd well, but I could have been the last person to interview her before she died.
I was working for CMT in 2022 when the Judds announced their final tour. Part of their comeback was a performance on the CMT Music Awards in mid-April, where mother and daughter – Naomi and Wynonna – sang “Love Can Build a Bridge” together face-to-face in front of an audience.

“This is really happening,” Wynonna said between lyrics as a gospel choir joined them on stage. The performance was pre-taped.

Naomi looked radiant, if a bit nervous, in a glamorous, royal blue pantsuit trimmed in satin and chiffon and encrusted in jewels. Wynonna’s voice cut through the lyrics, lifting them to the heavens. The wind picked up as the women sang, and Naomi raised her hand in the air in praise. The moment was magical for everyone there.

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A few days later, I stood in the last interview spot on the red carpet leading into the CMT Music Awards. The day had been chaotic. The weather was rainy. It was hot, and the carpet was in a tent – I think. I expected the women to keep walking by, but they stopped.

Naomi was beaming. She smiled widely, her burgundy hair highlighted with pink and piled on top of her head in a loose updo. Wynonna was more nervous.

“It’s kind of surreal,” she said. “I’m on the outside looking in on one level and then on another level; I’ve been doing it for 38 years.”

Naomi Judd: “I’m Too Old to Grow Up Now”

“I’m too old to grow up now,” Naomi quipped. “I don’t really have family that ever loved me or supported me. The fans are my family of choice. It’s crazy when I talk to the performers. I’m not afraid, and it feels like a giant bear hug. I’ve dreamed about (reuniting the Judds) every night for 31 years.”

That was April 11, 2022. About two weeks later, on April 30, my boss at CMT called and told me Naomi was gone. I was stunned, as I’m sure many people were. She had so much to live for in that moment. She and Wynonna were about to embark on their final tour, and the Judds would be inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame the next day.

Naomi, who fought PTSD and bipolar disorder, had shot herself in her bedroom near Franklin, Tennessee. While suicide is the technical term for what happened, her family was crystal clear – mental health killed Naomi Judd.

While many people knew that Naomi and Wynonna’s relationship could be contentious and that Naomi might have had quirky moments, I never heard anyone say they saw this coming.

Again, I’m not claiming to have known her well. I’m just someone who interviewed her a dozen or so times over the years, and these are my experiences and observations. When she passed away, I watched work friends of many years mourn her as if they’d lost a close blood relative. And everything they said about her was what I experienced too – she was a pure heart, a helping hand, a safe place, and in many ways, an open book.

Naomi Judd was a Pure Heart, Helping Hand, and Safe Place

Naomi had all these isms. I always wished I’d written them down. She said things like, “My toothpaste is out of the tube, and I can’t put it back in.” I remember she called me once for an interview to promote a professional project she was working on, but she was most excited about her upcoming Halloween party. About 15 years ago, she found out I just had a baby girl. A couple of days later, huge boxes arrived from Target, many of them filled with things left on my registry. I have no idea if that was a fluke or if she checked. I’m also not saying that I think Naomi Judd went to Target to go baby shopping for my new daughter – but someone from her camp did. She sent blankets, onesies, dresses, pajamas, toys, and a soft pink and green owl pillow.

A few years later, when I had my son, it happened again. The Target boxes arrived with an autographed copy of her children’s book about Gertie the Goldfish this time.

She Sent Baby Gifts From Target

I never felt like I was interviewing a country music star when talking to Naomi, although she was. She seemed like her life was full of friends, but now we know she still felt lonely. Naomi wanted to tell her stories, share interesting conversations, and make you laugh, sometimes at her own expense.

I wrote a story a couple of hours ago that was pretty straightforward about this being the third anniversary of Naomi’s death. I was typing out the facts and feeling kind of detached as if I wasn’t writing about the loveliest person being so sick that she chose to leave this world. And three years later, she deserves so much more than that. Yes, The Judds were one of the most successful duos in country music history. Between 1984 and 1991, Wynonna and Naomi nabbed 20 Top 10 country hits, including 14 No. 1 songs ranging from “Grandpa (Tell Me ‘Bout the Good Old Days)” to “Love Can Build a Bridge.” The duo won five Grammys, nine Country Music Association awards, and seven Academy of Country Music awards.

The Judds had 14 No. 1 Songs

But in the end, everything boiled down to the fact that Naomi Judd just wanted to be loved. And she was loved madly. Her mental illness just kept her from feeling it. The Judds Final Tour continued as a tribute to Naomi, and many of country music’s best, brightest, and most iconic women joined Wynonna on stage for the tour. Given the choice and some clarity, I think Naomi would have liked to be there with her hair jacked-to-Jesus singing alongside them. Instead, after much suffering, she chose to watch the show from Heaven.

Naomi’s daughters will share their stories in the documentary The Judd Family: Truth Be Told, which will air on Lifetime May 10 and 11 at 8 p.m. ET/PT.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.

(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/Getty Images for CMT)