From Carly Simon to Alanis Morissette to Taylor Swift and countless artists before, in between, and undoubtedly after, musicians have been writing breakup songs (and the general public has been eating them up) since time immemorial. Humans are creatures that prioritize connections. When those connections, particularly intimate and romantic ones, fail, the experience can be gut-wrenching and heartbreaking. Music helps us lean into those emotions so that we can better heal from them.
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Unfortunately for the artists who write these breakup songs, when the track becomes a hit, it can often hang over their heads for the rest of their careers. Not only will the musician have to revisit that broken relationship each time they perform their song. But they’ll also face chronic public scrutiny over who the song is about, why they broke up with that person, what the song’s subject thinks about it, and so on.
In a world where celebrities’ personal lives are sources of entertainment for the masses, a breakup song can quickly become a double-edged sword. Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” and Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” are two prime examples, thanks in no small part to the fact that the singer’s exes were also famous.
Alanis Morissette Compares Her Track to the 1972 Carly Simon Hit
Alanis Morissette released “You Oughta Know” in 1995, just over two decades after Carly Simon released “You’re So Vain” in 1972. In a testament to just how predictable the masses can be, both songs were hits. For scorned lovers, they were powerful anthems to belt out in the car, at karaoke, or in imaginary conversations with an ex-lover. For Nosey Nellies, these songs were clues that revealed more intimate details about a famous person’s life behind closed doors. And for Simon and Morissette, the songs were equally as irksome as they were career-defining, which is a difficult paradox to rationalize.
“What people don’t understand, and I can’t speak for Carly, but there’s a difference between revenge and revenge fantasy,” Morissette argued in a 2025 interview with the Los Angeles Times. “I’m all about the revenge fantasy and punching pillows and gyrating and sweating and losing your s*** in art. And Lord knows I’m unmeasured in other areas day-to-day, too. So, it’s not like I’m some paragon of containment. But yeah, just the revenge thing. There’s a lot of schoolyard stuff going on.”
She ended her comparison with, “That’s all I’ll say for the moment.” And indeed, Morissette was equally tight-lipped after news broke that she walked out of a rehearsal for the 2022 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony, which welcomed Simon into the ranks of its members. Morissette planned on performing Simon’s famous breakup song, “You’re So Vain”, but walked out before the filming took place.
Why The 1990s Star Refused To Sing The Classic 70s Track
“You Oughta Know” singer Alanis Morissette performing “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon would have strengthened the connection between the two singers’ legacies of writing some of the most iconic breakup songs of all time. However, before the actual induction ceremony took place, Morissette walked out, refusing to perform. Unsurprisingly, rumors began spreading about why the Canadian singer bowed out of the show. She responded to this speculation with an Instagram statement.
“Firstly, I have to say how much I adore Carly Simon,” she began, before adding, “I have spent decades in an industry that is rife with an overarching anti-woman sentiment and have tolerated a lot of condescension and disrespectfulness, reduction, dismissiveness, contract-breaching, unsupportiveness, exploitation, and psychological violence (and more) throughout my career. Hollywood has been notorious for its disrespect of the feminine in all of us. Thankfully, I am at a point in my life where there is no need for me to spend time in an environment that reduces women.”
Neither Morissette nor any of the organizations involved divulged any further details. But the incident speaks to how artists, especially female artists, are often belittled and pigeonholed into revenge-seeking, “crazy” ex-girlfriends—a perverse and misogynistic reaction to breakup songs that most artists are eager to dump.
Photo by Robin Little/Redferns
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