Aside from the seven-year hiatus that followed the 2005 release The Woods, Sleater-Kinney has been consistently putting out albums since the mid-’90s. They wasted little time getting to work on their 11th album, Little Rope, once they completed their 2021 It’s Time Tour.
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Corin Tucker and Carrie Brownstein were in the midst of writing songs for the album when Brownstein’s mother and stepfather were killed in a car accident in Italy. Both members of the duo acknowledge—as one would expect—that their songwriting efforts were refocused in the aftermath of the tragic accident. As a result, nearly all of the songs on Little Rope deal with grief or impermanence.
Both themes are central to “Say It Like You Mean It,” even though it was written primarily by Tucker. Brownstein has said she thought the album’s second single was “a classic” when she first heard it, even before Tucker wrote the verses. And indeed, the chorus alone would make it an absolute banger. But it’s the verses that provide the song with much of its emotional depth.
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Finding Words for the Pain at the End of a Relationship
From the song’s initial lines, Lie gently with me / All clocks have stopped, one immediately gets the impression that “Say It Like You Mean It” is about an intense and intimate moment in a relationship. As Tucker continues on through the rest of the first verse, she keeps the listener in suspense as to what has been going on between the two people in question. All we know is that one person needs to hear something from the other.
Our minds they can’t reach
All counting off
No bitter endings
And no false starts
Just tell me one thing
Just say the words
It’s not until the chorus that we learn this relationship isn’t in its beginning or middle; it’s about to end. While Tucker leaves it to the listener as to what the “it” is in the line “say it like you mean it,” it’s apparent her protagonist wants her soon-to-be-ex-partner to be truthful about either the relationship’s status or her partner’s feelings about her.
Say it like you mean it
I need to hear it before you go
Say it like you mean it
This goodbye hurts when you go
Whatever the protagonist is expecting “it” to be, she knows it’s going to be painful. Still, she wants the proverbial bandage pulled off. But as she indicates in the second verse, she doesn’t want it ripped off.
Go softly with me
My heart is raw
Too many losses
Have left me down
While the song is not about a literal death, it is about a relationship that once existed but is about to be gone. The anguish Tucker conveys through her lyrics and impassioned vocal delivery is highly relatable. It could apply to any situation where one is facing the loss of someone or something they hold precious.
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The Music and Video Tell the Story, Too
The lyrics by themselves pack an emotional punch, but the music serves to amplify the pain and sadness. In the initial stages of the song’s development, though, producer John Congleton felt the vocal melody wasn’t a good match for the intensity of “Say It Like You Mean It”’s message.
In an interview with The SoCal Sound’s Julie Slater, Tucker said she was initially miffed by Congleton’s feedback. But that night, she woke up from her sleep with a new melody in her head. Congleton liked the new version Tucker brought to him better and worked with her to create what she called “a more varied path” for the vocal melody. The song’s understated beginning in combination with its eventual build-up to a big final chorus gets across the emotional impact of Tucker’s lyrics about impending loss loud and clear.
The official video for “Say It Like You Mean It” brings the pain of the song’s message into even sharper focus. Actress J. Smith-Cameron, best-known for her role as Gerri in HBO’s Succession, acts out and lip-syncs the song as she moves around a busy restaurant. Her efforts to express herself to various patrons of the restaurant, all of whom ignore her, drive home the feelings of isolation Tucker’s lyrics have already made palpable.
Brownstein directed the video, and consciously made it an uncomfortable watch. She’s said that “the video tells a story of a woman who’s lost all sense of what’s appropriate. Sick with the alienation that stems from existing in a disparate emotional state from the person or people closest to her, she grapples with debilitating loss, desires to be seen, and dares you to leave.”
The Impact of “Say It Like You Mean It”
“Say It Like You Mean It” was Sleater-Kinney’s fourth entry on Billboard’s Adult Alternative Airplay chart. As of this writing, only “Worry With You” (No. 19) has reached a higher spot on the chart than the No. 22 position achieved by the Little Rope track.
Sleater-Kinney have struck a chord with the themes of loss, heartbreak, and isolation they raise in “Say It Like You Mean It.” While these themes have been addressed by countless other songwriters and musicians, Tucker and Brownstein do a particularly masterful job of conveying the difficulty of grieving a loss. Some songs try to find a silver lining, or look for new reasons to feel hopeful. But there is no such comfort to be found here. There’s only the bewilderment that comes when your world changes in a profoundly disconcerting way you’re not prepared for.
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