THE ROCK BIBLE: UNHOLY SCRIPTURE FOR FANS & BANDS > By Henry Owings

Chunklet magazine publisher Henry Owings’ biblical pronouncements should serve as commandments every rocker should live by, whether band member, wannabe (i.e., crew), groupie, fan or, God forbid, critic. As riotous as the Blue Man Group’s How To Be a Megastar, but without the oddball rhythms (because drummers, apparently, are scum), this testament will give bandmates endless laughs-at one another’s expense-on those long drives between gigs.Label: QUIRK
[Rating: 5 STARS]

Chunklet magazine publisher Henry Owings’ biblical pronouncements should serve as commandments every rocker should live by, whether band member, wannabe (i.e., crew), groupie, fan or, God forbid, critic. As riotous as the Blue Man Group’s How To Be a Megastar, but without the oddball rhythms (because drummers, apparently, are scum), this testament will give bandmates endless laughs-at one another’s expense-on those long drives between gigs. Owings and his contributors are more thorough than any textbook (though misspelling Stevie Ray Vaughan’s name is grounds for flogging), and their teachings should be followed religiously. Sample: Unless the song ends with “Deep in the Heart of Texas,” don’t engage the audience in a clap-along. This is real I-wish-I’d-written-that, honest-to-god gospel. Worship appropriately. Just remember: Save the God nonsense for church. Rock ‘n’ roll is the devil’s music.