When Richard Patrick was writing and recording the second Filter album Title of Record there were two main themes that kept surfacing throughout. One was his struggle with drug and alcohol addiction, which he wasn’t openly admitting to yet which the album allowed him to covertly confess to. The other was his secret relationship with then-Smashing Pumpkins bassist D’arcy Wretzky-Brown. Both of these things were causing Patrick significant emotional turmoil—in fact, “It’s Gonna Kill Me” was about both their romance and a pharmacist who enabled his addictive behavior—and he would channel all of that angst and frustration into potent performances.
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Sowing the Seeds of Sadness
Although it may have been perceived by some people around Patrick that he was struggling with certain addiction issues, what was lesser-known was the fact he had been involved with Wretzky-Brown for some time. He felt guilty because he thought they were having an affair, but he said she reassured him that she was in an open marriage. Either way, he seemed uncomfortable with keeping things on the down-low.
Unfortunately, during the making of the album, which came out in 1999, she decided to break things off with Patrick and would go off with someone else. He would later comment that her marriage dissolved after that. The Filter frontman did not publicly make any comments about the relationship until a 2016 interview with Loudwire, and then when this writer assembled the liner notes for the 20th anniversary reissue of Title of Record in 2019.
Headed for a Heartbreak
Patrick told me that whenever he mentioned a girl on the album, notably “Miss Blue,” it was Wretzky-Brown. But he kept her identity private because she asked him to. It was not until 2016 when he said she finally agreed to let him speak publicly about it.
“People she knew in the industry were like, ‘Yo, D’arcy, you need to go after Rich and get some royalties. Every f–king song is about you,” he said. “And she’s like, ‘Yeah, I’ve been hearing that.’ But we were dating during that time—she broke up with me halfway through Title of Record. There was a fling moment [after], there were a couple of those moments during Amalgamut [around 2002].”
The Filter singer recalled how he stayed at the Chateau Marmont hotel in Los Angeles during the first week of recording, and his secret girlfriend’s husband came by and waved at him while he was in the pool. Then Wretzky-Brown said to him that she was starting to see another guy. “I was like, ‘You’re not going to see anyone new. You’re not going to go to No. 3 when I’m right here,’” he recalled to me. “So she’s like, ‘Well then, let’s break up. Let’s not be together. I want to see other people.’ It was a secret, but I didn’t want it to be secret. I wanted to say that my girlfriend’s D’arcy, and I had to lie.”
One Take with No Filter
Even though Patrick said he recorded most of Title of Record sober (because he couldn’t sing or perform well when he wasn’t), that wasn’t the case with “I’m Not the Only One,” for which he was totally blitzed before stepping into the vocal booth. He told his producer Ben Grosse that she had just left him and he was just going to sing. Patrick nailed it in one take. He later added in a few screaming moments, but for the main vocal that take was all that was needed. (Ironically, he later admitted his drinking was an issue for her.)
The song builds from an eerie ambient soundscape with quietly melancholic vocals and a strong drum groove and explodes into electrified ansgt during its latter half. It’s not a catchy verse-chorus trade-off; the song swells with Patrick’s frustration and heartbreak, reflecting his real-life situation.
Is this the last time I’ll ever see you / Is this the last time I’ll ever meet you / Is this the last time I’ll ever / Make love to you.
“It was perfect,” Patrick recalled. “Like the mood of my voice, the way I sounded, the inflection. Even though I was a little wasted, you feel the person right through the speakers. And that was the most important thing.” He said he wanted to retain the authenticity and not try to re-enact it with less passion later. Ditto for the end of “Miss Blue,” his post-breakup ode to Wretzky-Brown that included him crying, which Grosse insisted he keep in.
A Deep Cut with Deep Feelings
The 10th of 11 tracks on the album, “I’m Not the Only One” is an emotive deep cut from Filter’s sophomore album. According to Setlist.fm, the song is also played less frequently live, ranking just inside the group’s top 30 songs in concert. But it is one of the most intense moments on the album Title of Record, which like its predecessor Short Bus went Platinum, although in a short period of time. It took less than a year to hit that plateau.
Title of Record was boosted by the radio success of “Welcome to the Fold” and the chart success of “Take a Picture,” a standout song in the Filter catalog inspired by an inebriated airplane incident. That single hit No. 12 on the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart.
Although “I’m Not the Only One” may not have been a singles cut, it’s one of the album’s strongest tracks and exemplifies the cathartic power of Filter’s music when channeled with Patrick’s highly emotional singing. It’s the type of intense song that helped Filter stand out from so many of their ‘90s peers and why Patrick and his group still persevere today.
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