Most people like to pretend that they have superior music taste and don’t stoop to enjoying the most embarrassing songs imaginable. Sometimes, those songs spend weeks at the top of the charts. We all like to act like we have no idea how such schlock became so highly regarded. However, when we’re alone in the car and one of those cringe-worthy earworm hits comes on, we belt out the words because, yes, we know them by heart.
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Today, I’ll share a few songs that I sing along with only when I’m alone. Any other time, I’d ask whoever was in control of the music to change it and claim that I’d rather walk barefoot across a room of Lego blocks than hear another note.
“Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler (1983)
This utterly embarrassing piece of early ‘80s nostalgia was Bonnie Tyler’s biggest hit song. It was No. 1 for multiple weeks in multiple countries. Now, a little more than 40 years later, few people will admit to liking this song, let alone knowing all of the words.
Songwriter/producer Jim Steinman revealed that “Total Eclipse of the Heart” isn’t just a sappy saccharine-sweet love song. It’s a sappy saccharine-sweet love song about vampires. He wrote it as a kind of tribute to the silent horror film Nosferatu (1922). That makes all the “love in the dark” and “forever starts tonight” lines make a little more sense, at least.
“Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-a-Lot (1992)
Of all the songs on this list, this one is the most embarrassing. I want to hate “Baby Got Back” so badly but every time it comes on, there I am, reciting every word along with Sir Mix-a-Lot who, by the way, I truly doubt is an actual knight.
On the surface, “Baby Got Back” is endlessly cringeworthy from the opening skit, “Oh my God, Becky, look at her butt!” to the final line, it’s just bad. Despite that, it was a massive hit, spending five weeks atop the Billboard Hot 100. More importantly, this song was Mix’s way of attacking ‘90s beauty standards and giving representation to full-figured women and women of color. He even pointedly called out Playboy and Cosmopolitan in the song for pushing the impossible beauty standards of the day.
“Basically, pop culture was waif-thin, heroin addict, big hair, fake boobs—you know, that was what they thought beautiful was,” the rapper told NPR. “Because of the way it was discussed publicly, it made women who had naturally curvy bodies run around with sweaters wrapped around their waist.”
The song’s good intentions make it a little less embarrassing but not much.
“The Sign” by Ace of Bass (1993)
In the early ‘90s, I was a young metalhead who was deep into thrash bands like Metallica and Slayer and NWOBHM acts like Venom, Saxon, and Witchfinder General. However, under all of those badass metal cassettes I had amassed was The Sign by the Swedish pop group Ace of Bass. The title track was just too catchy to avoid and, as it turned out, so was the rest of the album. I just wouldn’t let my friends hear me listening to it and still won’t.
“The Sign” topped the Billboard Hot 100 for a total of six weeks and helped the album top the charts in the United States as well. This made Ace of Bass the first Swedish band to simultaneously hold the top spots on the Hot 100 and Billboard 200 charts.
“MMMBop” by Hanson (1997)
Hanson is one of those bands that is getting a second life in the 21st century as many ‘90s kids introduce the siblings’ catchy songs to a new generation. However, when this song came out, it was utterly embarrassing to enjoy their harmonious hits.
Hanson originated in Oklahoma. So, I’m not sure how much radio play “MMMBop” got everywhere else. In the Sooner State, though, saying this song was inescapable would be an understatement. It was all over the multiple top 40 radio stations on our FM dials. Additionally, it was in heavy rotation on MTV.
To this day, I believe that I learned the words to this song against my will. However, that doesn’t stop me from singing along with it when I’m by myself in the car and it worms its way into a nostalgic playlist.
Featured Image by Mick Hutson/Redferns
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