Exploring the world of non-monogamous relationships, on “2 Lovers,” Dana and the Wolf stand up for their lifestyle choice and attempt to educate the masses.
“Every time I hear about someone being poly, they’re either misusing the word or saying it like a whisper,” says Dana Hobson, one part of the Burbank, California-based duo, along with partner Daniel Wolf. “I just am so sick of people pussy footing around something that is not only a better lifestyle to live, but makes more sense to humankind, so I’m gonna be the mother fucker that stands up and says ‘I’m non-monogamous, and if you’re not, you’re a fucking idiot.’”
As Wolf was writing the lyrics it became a non-monogamy of anthem. “Dana only sings lyrics she really believes in, so it sort of acted as a confirmation that she still loved me, but that we were really going for this new lifestyle.”
He adds, ”When Dana first started seeing another dude, I would go for these walks around the block and have this bittersweet tune stuck in my head. We agreed to open our relationship, but it was scary knowing if you could really trust your partner.”
On “2 Lovers,” a follow up to recent single “It’s Too Late,” Dana’s soulful croon offers some reprieve from the external judgement or misunderstandings of an open relationship. “2 Lovers” doesn’t leave anything to the imagination. Everything is out in the open—and that’s just fine.
Recently referencing Willow Smith for her similar views on non-monograms, Hobson says there are still so many thing misunderstood and misconceptions around being polyamorous.
“Willow pointed out that even though she was the only polyamorous person in her friend group, she was having the least sex,” says Hobson. “It’s a common misconception that non-monogamous or polyamorous people have more sex and more risk of STDs. We, like Willow, only get into sexual relations with someone after a long getting-to-know-you process.”
Hobson, says non-monogamy is also somewhat of feminist movement, the concept of not possessing or owning your partner. “In the past, it was a little more on the woman to be objectified than the man,” says Hobson. “It makes me sick honestly when I think about the way people control their partner through guilt and jealousy stirred up by their own insecurities. Think of the woman that can’t have a guy co-worker for a friend and vice versa.”
She adds, “Whether sex is part of the equation or not, this control stunts growth and new ways of thinking.”
Wolf believes people should consider and learn about this lifestyle before saying something like “to each their own, it’s not for me.”
“You’re not born monogamous, it’s not an orientation,” says Wolf. “You’re choosing a lifestyle based on irrelevant and outdated principles. There’s a handful of reasons to elevate your style of living to non-monogamy. Autonomy: I do not own my partner and they don’t own me. Jealousy is a cloak for insecurity. With more partners, over time, you keep growing. Monogamy was stunting my growth in ways I couldn’t even imagine.”