Warren Zevon certainly dealt with his ups and downs in the music business. Considering his willingness to speak the truth no matter whom it might have rankled, it made sense that he took a potshot or two at the industry during his career.
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On his 1987 album Sentimental Hygiene, Zevon unleashed a furious takedown on money-grubbing executives and leeches on the song “Even A Dog Can Shake Hands”. It’s bitingly funny, all the more so because you can tell how much of Zevon’s own experience informed it.
A Fair “Shake”
Warren Zevon earned massive critical praise among singer-songwriters when he emerged with a pair of standout albums in the late 70s. Yet aside from the surprising success of the quasi-novelty song “Werewolves Of London”, Zevon struggled to attract much commercial success to go along with all the industry love.
Zevon’s hard-living ways reached a peak in the early 80s. In addition, his sales cratered, with his 1982 album The Envoy failing to make much of a dent. Zevon lost his record deal subsequent to that, leaving him one of the most overqualified unsigned acts in the country.
Luckily, he managed to clean himself up in the ensuing years, and he eventually snagged a new label. That led to his 1987 album Sentimental Hygiene. Although many special guests appear, most of the tracks rely on three-quarters of R.E.M. for the instrumental backing. That trio came up with the hard-charging punk-a-billy feel for “Even A Dog Can Shake Hands”.
Although he may have been clean and sober, this song proves that Zevon was in no way softer or gentler. He levels a series of putdowns at those who latch onto musicians and profit off them without doing much to earn it. In particular, the West Coast music scene earns his vitriol.
A Deep Dive into the Lyrics of “Even A Dog Can Shake Hands”
The title of the song pretty much sets the tone, as it suggests how little effort and talent go into the gladhanding needed to make it in the music business. Zevon paints a quick portrait of a car phone-wielding up-and-comer on Mulholland Drive. “He owns twenty percent because he knew you back when,” Zevon sneers about this guy’s qualifications.
These scoundrels congregate together for their power meals, which Zevon describes with demented glee: “All the worms and the gnomes are eating lunch at Le Dome/They’re all living off the fat of the land.” At no point do they display any talent or foresight that you might think would engender success.
The musician is almost like an innocent bystander. “Sign page forty-two, we’ll do the rest for you,” they promise. Zevon slyly references his own chaotic behavior by retelling words that he’d probably heard many times before: “I better not hope you don’t rock the boat/And we’ll make a few hundred grand.”
By the end of the song, Zevon is no longer hiding his disdain in gallows humor. “You’ll be making the scene ‘til they pick your bones clean,” he explains. “And they don’t leave too much for the fans.” The end result? “Don’t lose your head, you’ll wind up dead,” he says of their warnings before adding another alternative. “Or you’ll be living in the valley someday.”
Sentimental Hygiene represented an excellent artistic comeback for Warren Zevon, even if it once again continued his tradition of going under the commercial radar. Nonetheless, it proved, with “Even A Dog Can Shake Hands”, that he was still the last songwriter you wanted to cross.
Photo by Images Press/IMAGES/Getty Images
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