‘Tis the season… of hearing the same handful of bombastically jaunty Christmas songs on repeat each time you enter a public space. Willingly or not, you can probably sing every word to Mariah Carey’s epic “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” or Brenda Lee’s “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.” Likely, these four Christmas songs are much less familiar to you. Keep reading at your own risk.
Videos by American Songwriter
Brenda Lee, “I’m Gonna Lasso Santa Claus”
“Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” gets all the love, but we really should be talking about this Christmas song more. Released in 1956 when Brenda Lee was 12 years old, “I Wanna Lasso Santa Claus” kicks off with a childlike innocence: I’m gonna tick, tick, tickle him on the tummy / Because he laughs so funny.
By the third verse, the song’s narrator reveals a more sinister motive: I know a boy and girl he never goes see / He never brings ’em toys like he does for me.
The song ends with Lee gleefully declaring plans to “pop, pop Santa Claus / With my water pistol gun.” And then I’ll take his bags of toys and run, she sings. And bring to all the kids who don’t have none. What a ride.
[RELATED: 5 of the Oldest Christmas Songs We Still Sing Today]
2. Tom Waits, “Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis”
How many Christmas songs open with the line Hey Charlie, I’m pregnant? Known for lyrics that dove headfirst into the grimy corners of society, Tom Waits released this song on his 1978 album Blue Valentine. Listen all the way to the end for a devastating plot twist.
Snoop Dogg, “Santa Claus Goes Straight To The Ghetto”
Hey, remember when Death Row Records dropped an entire Christmas album? Enjoying his position at the top of the gangsta rap game in 1996, Snoop Dogg teamed up with Daz Dillinger, Nate Dogg and Big Tray Deee and Bad Azz for the album’s only single, “Santa Claus Goes Straight To The Ghetto.” Swapping out elves and reindeer for “gangstas and thieves,” this bafflingly delightful Christmas song “will forever slap,” according to one YouTube user.
Ozzy Osbourne and Jessica Simpson, “Winter Wonderland”
So many iconic names have given us their take on this 1934 classic. Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga. Bing Crosby. Michael Bublé. Jessica Simpson and… Ozzy Osbourne?!
That’s right, Gen Z and younger. Jessica Simpson, the picture of early-aughts All-American wholesomeness, teamed up with the Prince of Darkness for this performance as part of MTV’s The Osbourne Family Christmas Special in 2003. (Oh yeah, Ozzy was a reality star once.)
This brain-melting duet is impossible to describe, so watch below and experience this absolute fever dream for yourself.
Featured image via Instagram
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