3 Songs About Other Songs That Don’t Exist

Whether it’s to call out a source of inspiration or orient the listener to a certain time and place, many songs reference other songs. There are the rare few, however, that reference songs that do not exist. It’s an endlessly frustrating thing. What do you mean we can’t dance along to the “Best Song Ever” or do the “Monster Mash”? Find three songs about songs that don’t exist–and why we’re jealous we will never hear them–below.

Videos by American Songwriter

“Crocodile Rock” (Elton John)

The biggest kick I ever got / Was doing a thing called the Crocodile Rock, Elton John sings in this 1973 hit. While this song is “Crocodile Rock”, John and his friends reference dancing to an equally as catchy track–one that doesn’t exist in real life. John calls it the “biggest kick” he ever got. It’s a little disappointing that we will never be able to hop and bop to this floor-filler. Maybe John will appease us one day by writing a (deeply meta) prequel to this track.

[RELATED: Elton John “Couldn’t Be Prouder” That His New Album with Brandi Carlile Has Topped the U.K. Chart]

“Best Song Ever” (One Direction)

Flashing forward many decades, One Direction followed John’s example in 2013 with “Best Song Ever”. Many fans have come to understand this song as a coded innuendo. However, taking the lyrics at face value sees the boyband singing about yet another song that doesn’t actually exist. They give this fictional song high praise. We danced all night to the best song ever / We knew every line, they sing in the chorus. It’s impossible to not feel a little jealous of the One Direction boys for listening to this world-shattering song, especially when we will never be able to hear it. As a consolation, we have this unshakable pop hit to dance the night away to.

“Tennessee Waltz” (Various Artists)

“Tennessee Waltz” has been recorded many times by many artists. This crooning track is a classic tale of lost love and backstabbing friends. The chorus revolves around a dance between the vocalist’s sweetheart and the friend that stole them away. What are they dancing to? Some song that doesn’t actually exist called the “Tennessee Waltz”. I was dancing with my darling to the Tennessee Waltz / When an old friend I happened to see / I Introduced her to my loved one and while they were dancing / My friend stole my sweetheart from me, Patti Page sings in her famous version. We know many two-steppers down in Nashville that would be eager to hear such a song.

(Photo by Express/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)