The not-so-secret secret of reality-singing television shows is their primary purpose is to prop up the careers of famous judges. It’s not a coincidence when one of the judges announces a new single on the show or one of the contestants happens to cover a popular song written or recorded by a celebrity judge.
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But a diamond is occasionally found inside the reality TV mine, and Carrie Underwood is one of the brightest. She had an early hit with “Before He Cheats,” where she immediately established some ground rules to which you might want to pay attention.
Formidable Opposition to Unfaithfulness
When her man is out slow dancing with a bleach-blonde tramp, Underwood returns fire by keying the truck, slicing the seats, and taking a Louisville Slugger like Albert Pujols to the headlights before slashing the bum’s tires. All four tires, by the way.
She sings like Ann Wilson from Heart, with the perfect combination of velvety angel and “Immigrant Song” wail, and if you tune into NBC’s Sunday Night Football, you’ll also find her pounding out a drum solo because she’s been “Waiting All Day for Sunday Night.”
“Before He Cheats” and “Jesus, Take the Wheel” were crossover hits, bringing this American Idol to pop audiences nationwide.
Underwood has sold more than 85 million records globally, and the RIAA ranked her as the highest-certified female country artist for digital singles. She’s been as unstoppable as the baseball bat she wielded on her debut album, Some Hearts (2005).
Born in Muskogee, Oklahoma, Underwood auditioned for Capitol Records in Nashville at 14. The contract fell through, and she returned home to focus on school. She thought the dream was over and studied at Northeastern State University. In 2004, she traveled to St. Louis to audition for American Idol. Simon Cowell predicted “she’d outsell all previous Idol winners.” He wasn’t wrong.
[AS OF THIS WRITING: Tickets to Carrie’s Vegas Residency & More Are Available! – Get ‘Em Right Here]
Your Cheatin’ Heart
“Dirty Laundry” was written by Zach Crowell, Ashley Gorley, and Hillary Lindsey. It’s about infidelity, and uses well-worn imagery of lipstick on the collar and the other woman’s perfume. But there’s a twist.
That lipstick on your collar, well, it ain’t my shade of pink
And I can tell by the smell of that perfume
It’s like 40 dollars too cheap
And there’s a little wine stain on the pocket
Of your white cotton thread
Well, you drink beer and whiskey, boy
And you know I don’t drink red
Over Jay Joyce’s slick production, Underwood’s character turns the literal dirty laundry into something she shares with the world—airing the filthy secrets of her cheating man.
Now, I’ma have to hang you out to dry, dry, dry (dry)
Clothespin all your secrets to the line, line, line
Leave ’em blowing in the wind to say goodbye to you
Watch Y’self
Bad men must be careful in an Underwood song. She’s not afraid to kill a man who’s done her wrong, but the cheater in “Dirty Laundry” gets off easy compared to Ken, the wealthy oilman in “Church Bells,” poisoned to death by his abused wife, Jenny. Crowell and Lindsey co-wrote “Church Bells” with Brett James, and this time the deadbeat partner is shown mercy.
Ajax is famous for cleaning almost anything, but there’s not enough bleach in the world to wash away the lying and betrayal in Underwood’s hit from Storyteller.
All those midnights sneaking in
“I’m late again; oh, I’m so sorry.”
All the Ajax in the world ain’t gonna clean your dirty laundry
Joyce arranged an all-star Nashville band for “Dirty Laundry,” including guitarist Tom Bukovac, bassist Jerry Flowers, drummer Fred Eltringham, and John Deaderick on keyboards.
Real-Life Chores
Underwood told The Boot that “Dirty Laundry” hits home, though not from a cheating partner. She said, “I feel like I do laundry every day. I’m not sure where it all comes from. There’s only three of us, and one of us is very small, so I’m really not sure how we have so much. I’m still a mom, first and foremost.”
She became a mother while working on Storyteller in 2014. A stopgap greatest hits compilation followed her fourth studio album, Blown Away. Arista Nashville released Storyteller in 2015 and, like its predecessor, it topped the Billboard Top Country Albums chart.
Animal Behavior
Shane C. Drake directed the video for “Dirty Laundry,” using scorned women and wild animals to tell the story. Drake’s decision to include animals illustrates the connection between human and animal behavior. Human rationality works hard to control evolution’s base instincts.
Observing the heated emotions of men and women is a good reminder of how connected the “higher” species is to the rest of the animal kingdom.
Photo by John Shearer/Getty Images for CMT
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