Walker Hayes is getting deep. On the latest episode of American Songwriter’s Off the Record podcast, host Lisa Konicki chatted with the country singer about his grief, his family, and his latest album, 17 Problems.
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Hayes has never been shy about sharing his hardships with the world. The singer has been through a lot, including struggles with addiction, a complicated relationship with his late dad, and the death of his and wife Laney’s daughter, Oakleigh.
Writing his latest LP allowed Hayes to “organize my thoughts” on all those topics and more.
“I think at this phase in my life, I’ve probably grown out of the talk about my mother or father. I can feel my blame shifting from pointing at my childhood and saying, ‘You’re why I’m this,’ and more of a shift to we’re all like that,” Hayes said. “I’m learning too that my feelings, they’re not the most trustable compass.”
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Walker Hayes Says Songwriting Is “A Gift”
While Hayes said that his feelings are “not always right,” he still commits to channeling them in his work, particularly when writing about his dad, who died in 2021.
“There are days when I’m thankful for who my dad was. I’m proud to be like him, to sometimes remind people of him. I appreciate a lot of who he was,” Hayes said. “And then there are some days where I wake up and I go, ‘Man, when dad did this, that hurt,’ and I never got to have that conversation with him. It’s different day to day. It’s tricky.”
“Some days I’m grateful I had time with him, and sometimes I’m like, ‘I didn’t get enough.’ Grief is, it’s like liquid. It doesn’t be still, it changes shape and form every day,” he added. “I think you can hear that in the music, maybe even in a song. You’re like, ‘Well, did he love his dad or is he mad at his dad?’”
Battling those conflicting thoughts is not an easy thing to do. That’s why he turns to songwriting, an outlet that he said has been “a gift” for him.
Walker Hayes on “Song For My Song”
Take “Song For My Son,” for instance, a track that Hayes considers “a prayer.”
On the song, Hayes sings, “I’m scared all I’m passin’ my son down is my bad stuff / Father, help me, how am I supposed to do this dad stuff? / I hate church but I love You / And I’m prayin’ he does too.“
Hayes knows the lyric may be controversial, but said he stands by it because it’s true to his own experience.
“No one knows that I had a youth pastor who was a pedophile. No one knows that the first day I went back to church after I lost Oakleigh, it was baby dedication day, and someone sat us in the second row of the church,” he said. “Now listen, I’m sounding angry at those. I’ve forgiven all of that, but I still get this like, ‘Ugh.’”
Hayes added, “As many people who I feel like are going to go, ‘Oh, you can’t say that,’ I think just as many will go, ‘Hey, I feel exactly like he does. Let’s talk about it.’”
Walker Hayes Reveals His Favorite Song on 17 Problems
Hayes’ favorite song on the album is “Adderall.” He penned the song with Elvie Shane “about how our culture praises paying attention, keeping up, and hustling and producing.”
“Laney and I have a family member who’s struggled with Adderall,” Hayes said. “Out of those conversations, it’s eerie how you experienced something, and then you meet people everywhere who are like, ‘Oh, me too. That was hard for me to get off.’”
In the chorus, Hayes sings, “Yeah, we work Adderall day and we work Adderall night / Add a little America to that dream / Like everything’s Adderall-right / But we’re just sadder inside / I think the doctors lied / Life’s a girl we’re supposed to love till she’s gone / Looks like we might bе looking Adderall wrong.”
“It’s just clever, a good spin on the word. It’s light… but it’s heavy when you listen to it. You’re like, ‘Oh, I can relate,’” Hayes said of the track. “I feel like I feel this pressure to just do, do, do, and always be busy and perform. And maybe that’s not the key. Maybe just doing something really good and letting everything else go, maybe that’s good.”
Walker Hayes Discusses the “Miracles” of the Mundane
Living in the moment is something Hayes also discusses on the track “Wednesday,” which he penned with Hoda Kotb.
“We were doing a podcast. I’m just talking to Hoda, and I was telling her a lot about my life, and honestly, talking about the dimming of the world and the content and peace I find in the mundane as I get older,” Hayes recalled. “She literally, out of her mouth, said, ‘So basically what you’re saying is some days are the best days. And some days are yes days, but most days are just Wednesdays.’”
Hayes immediately knew that that was “a universal concept that everyone needs to hear.”
“I feel like our culture is taught to find the most comfortable life we can and to try to make tomorrow just the big day, the one, just looking for with the big break,” he said. “I feel like sadly, we’re missing the miracles of… just the mundane stuff.”
“The mundane is kind of miraculous. We take it for granted by just hoping maybe tomorrow is the million-dollar day. That’s sad,” Hayes added. “I think it’s a beautiful song just saying to someone you love like, ‘Dude, I’m good if I get another day with you. What else? What’s better than that?’”
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