Eddie Vedder relives his childhood trauma in two of Pearl Jam’s biggest songs, “Alive” and “Better Man.” The former was Vedder looking back on a moment of impact: the day he learned the man he thought was his father, wasn’t. The latter is a slow-zoom reflection on the stubbornly elusive question of “Why?” But he’s not asking the question in self-pity. Vedder humanizes his mother, attempting to understand her decisions—separating “mom” from Karen Lee Vedder.
Videos by American Songwriter
On Pearl Jam’s debut album, Vedder asked, “Why go home?” By the album’s end, he pleaded, “Release me.” Pearl Jam was a band searching for catharsis. Like Bruce Springsteen before them, they now deliver something like redemption, or the feeling of recovery, to millions of strangers who feel as they do. The meaning behind the Vitalogy song “Better Man” tracks with that space in which fans hold the band.
Red-Hot Connection
“Better Man” dates back to Vedder’s pre-Pearl Jam days, playing in a local San Diego band called Bad Radio. He was playing in Bad Radio while juggling a part-time job at a gas station. He met former Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Jack Irons through the local music scene, and his friendship would change Vedder’s life.
Before Vedder’s time, Bad Radio sounded like Duran Duran. He joined in 1988, and they chased the funk rock sound of the Red Chili Peppers. Looking back on early YouTube clips of Vedder singing “Better Man” with Bad Radio reveals a singer outgrowing a band who had reached their ceiling.
In Seattle, Stone Gossard and Jeff Ament were working on new music following the dissolution of Mother Love Bone. They lost their singer Andrew Wood, who died tragically, aged 24, following a heroin overdose. Looking for a singer and drummer, Gossard passed a demo to Jack Irons. Irons passed on the gig, but he sent Gossard’s demo to his friend in San Diego, and soon, Bad Radio no longer had a singer.
It Beats Being Alone
Vedder wrote “Better Man” about a woman who settles for a guy, thinking that’s as good as it gets. He thought of his stepfather, a man Vedder thought was his biological father for most of his life. But it was too late to connect; his real father had already died. Pearl Jam’s “Alive” is about this chapter in Vedder’s life; it’s how the would-be Pearl Jam demo Momma-Son begins.
Waitin’, watchin’ the clock
It’s four o’clock, it’s got to stop
Tell him, “Take no more.”
She practices her speech
As he opens the door, she rolls over
Pretends to sleep as he looks her over
He viewed his mother’s second marriage as desperation—she needed help paying the bills, so she settled for a man named Peter Mueller. Eddie Vedder was known as Edward Mueller until his late teens, when he began using his mother’s maiden name.
She lies and says she’s in love with him
Can’t find a better man
She dreams in color; she dreams in red
Can’t find a better man
[RELATED: 4 Songs You Didn’t Know Eddie Vedder Wrote Solo for Pearl Jam]
After his mother divorced Mueller, she returned to Chicago, where Vedder was born. He remained in San Diego with his stepfather to finish high school, though he’d eventually drop out. Vedder joined the rest of his family in Chicago before returning to San Diego with his future wife, Beth Liebling. (Folks might know Liebling as the co-founder of the experimental band Hovercraft.) Vedder and Liebling divorced in 2000.
Talkin’ to herself
There’s no one else who needs to know
She tells herself, oh
Memories back when she was bold and strong
And waiting for the world to come along
Swears she knew it, now she swears he’s gone
Vs. Vitalogy
Pearl Jam rehearsed “Better Man” for their second album, Vs. When their producer, Brendan O’Brien, heard the song, he told them it was a “hit.” But Vedder wasn’t interested in turning a profoundly personal song into an anthem. O’Brien tried to persuade him to record it for Vs. but Vedder refused. The band eventually recorded the song for their third album, Vitalogy.
The ’90s Seattle bands were known for despising fame. They were highly cynical of the music business and rock stardom. Aesthetically and lyrically, the bands were reacting against the glammed-up metal bands that preceded them on MTV but also railing against the general bloat of the Reagan years.
By the time Vitalogy was released, Pearl Jam had stopped making music videos and was at war with Ticketmaster. They were also on the verge of imploding, according to O’Brien. Pearl Jam was feeling crushed by the weight of their success. At the time of release in 1994, Vitalogy became the second-fastest-selling CD in history. Vedder and his band may have wanted to slow things down, but fans were still hungry. Feelings of suffocation increased with the suicide of Kurt Cobain, who became the scene’s first casualty. It doesn’t matter how big the band is; they are still people with families and feelings.
1-2-3-4-5 Against One
When a group of people becomes a multi-million dollar entity, it’s hard to grapple with. Humanity is stripped away, and what you are left with is a “thing” that people devour. Attempting to take on a behemoth like Ticketmaster was futile. There will always be enough artists willing to play the game, and it’s not different from individual artists like Neil Young ineffectively protesting Spotify.
Like the woman in “Better Man,” who settled for a partner out of economic desperation and because it’s better than living alone, future bands will continue working with companies preying on fans and artists because they are necessary evils, and no one wants to be left behind. Pearl Jam may have lost the fight, but at least they swung at the bully.
Photo by Jason Merritt/FilmMagic
