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His voice sounds weak and tired on the recording. Jeff Tweedy, Wilco’s frontman and founder, barely gets out the last line: But I promise, we’re just friends. The meaning behind the ballad “We’re Just Friends” is expressed through very little but poignant lyrical content. Tweedy sings about a dilemma that would make anyone feel exhausted: Falling in love but not being able to be with the one you love.
One person admits to having made “mistakes” and wanting to make amends so that things will feel “brand new,” while the other person keeps reiterating that friendship is the only relationship they want. The song even seems to offer a short summary of itself when Tweedy sings: If love’s so easy, why is it hard.
Over and over and over again
I try to make amends
For everything that I’ve done wrong
My whole world just spins
Make some coffee, hold me up
Try to talk me out of giving up
I’ll come back to you
It’ll be brand new
But I promise
We’re just friends
Wilco’s songwriting duo becomes a trio for “We’re Just Friends”
Soon after Wilco had recorded their debut album A.M., multi-instrumentalist and producer Jay Bennett joined the band. Tweedy and Bennett became the driving forces behind Wilco and a potent songwriting team. By the time they recorded the third Wilco album together, they had established a flow between playing shows and writing new material. But unlike many other songs, “We’re Just Friends” was co-written not only by Tweedy and Bennett but also by a third member of the band: bassist John Stirratt.
Stirratt used to play bass in Tweedy’s previous band, Uncle Tupelo, in the early ’90s. After the band broke up in 1994, Stirratt immediately joined Tweedy’s new project, Wilco.
Arrangement for the album “Summerteeth”
Wilco’s second album, Being There, already featured some keyboard sounds and the musicians “kept trying to find more good stuff,” Tweedy recalls in an interview with Salon. They “wound up with a pretty good collection of weird, esoteric keyboards,” that they were eager to use for their next batch of songs.
One of those songs is “We’re Just Friends.” For a band that started out as an alternative country outfit, the sounds on this track are quite a departure. The minimal arrangement is held up by a piano and Stirratt’s melodic bass line. The gloomy ballad appeared on the 1999 album, “Summerteeth.” The album is often described as the last body of work that Tweedy and Bennett could agree on. “Summerteeth” spent three weeks on the Billboard 200 and peaked at 78.
The songwriting team of Tweedy and Bennett ended up not even lasting a whole decade. The two musicians started to clash when working on the next album, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. In 2001 Tweedy fired Bennett, who went on to release his own music. He died eight years later of an accidental overdose of painkillers.
A 2008 winter residency reintroduces “We’re Just Friends” to the stage
The year Summerteeth was released, Wilco played “We’re Just Friends” live quite regularly. “They feel real good to sing. They’re accurate,” Tweedy told Salon about the lyrics. The band included “We’re Just Friends” in their set at the 1999 Glastonbury Festival. During the performance, Tweedy casually lights a cigarette before he starts singing and the crowd starts swaying back and forth.
15 years ago, after not having performed the song for many years, Wilco brought “We’re Just Friends” back. During their 5-day residency at the Riviera Theatre in Chicago in 2008 the band set out to play their entire catalog. At the time, that meant performing more than 80 songs.
While the song was written more than two decades ago, getting friend-zoned is a fate that people continue to face. At least they have this song to keep them company.
Photo by Jim Steinfeldt/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images
