4 Infectious Hit Pop Songs You’d Never Catch Me Listening to Today

Like binge eating a whole ice cream cake or rotting on the couch watching an entire season (or two) of a show, sometimes too much of anything can turn sour, and these infectious hit pop songs you’d never catch me listening to today are no exception. At one point, these songs dominated the airwaves. They dominated my own brain for how often they were stuck in my head.

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Blame it on the passing of time, emotionally maturing, or simply realizing that some of those lyrics and musical moments are really, intensely cringey, but I can’t say I’d put these songs on the queue at a party or on a road trip with friends. Alone in the car or while I’m deep cleaning the house by myself on the weekend? That’s a different story.

But you’re still not catching me listening to these earworms in public.

“Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke

In my own defense, and at the risk of aging myself, I was still in high school when Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” came out. I didn’t pay attention or even pick up on the highly problematic lyrics like saying I know you want it to a girl you just met at a bar. But then again, it didn’t seem like the rest of the world caught on either (or was perturbed by it, anyway), because the song was a commercial hit. This infectious pop song was the longest-running single of 2013 in the U.S. People were eating the song up all over the world. But no matter how catchy that backing instrumental is, I think my friends would firmly revoke my aux cord rights if I tried to play this at our next get-together.

“Lollipop (Candyman)” by Aqua

I can count the number of people I’ve met who actively listen to Danish dance band Aqua on one hand, and that’s including myself. Their debut studio album, Aquarium, is a late 1990s bop from start to finish. Still, as much as I unironically love my well-worn Aqua CD, I can separate myself from my own nostalgia long enough to know that some of the songs are objectively ridiculous. I might very well force a party to listen to “My Oh My” or “Barbie Girl,” but I’ll save them from “Lollipop (Candyman).” From the insane synth harpsichord breakdowns to the lyrics about simultaneously eating and running away with the sweet sugar candyman, this is one of those songs I’ll listen to (alone) on a long car ride when I’m trying to stay awake. But that’s about it.

“All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor

Something about the retro, doo-wop flavor of Meghan Trainor’s 2014 hit “All About That Bass” dug itself into my brain and would not get out for at least six months straight. I wore the song out. And so did the rest of the world. It topped global charts everywhere. The song earned a Record of the Year Grammy nomination in 2015. But after the bubblegum pop sparkle faded on this highly ubiquitous and equally infectious pop hit, the song’s lyrical content made it clear that it was only body positive toward one specific body type. And as anyone who has been made to feel bad about their body can attest, any type of body negativity sucks. Period. Catchy background vocals and earworm hooks aside, I just can’t listen to this one the same way I used to.

“Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne

I end my somewhat embarrassing list of infectious pop hits that you won’t catch me listening to today with a woman whose CD stayed in my CD player for virtually the entire year of 2003: Avril Lavigne. Her debut album, Let Go, has all the classics you likely associate with Lavigne: “Sk8er Boi,” “Complicated,” etc. Her transition to power pop with her 2007 album, The Best Damn Thing, was (personally) not my favorite. Something about “Girlfriend,” the album’s lead single, always rubbed me the wrong way despite the fact that the catchy hook permanently lodged itself into my head. The song is a mood, for sure—just maybe not a mood I’m itching to share in mixed company. I’ll spin Let Go all day, though. “Complicated” is timeless, and I will not be taking questions about my stance at this time.

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