5 “What If?” Classic Rock Covers I Wish We’d Gotten

A singer’s voice is the most universally distinguishable part of a song, forever identifying certain classic rock tracks based on that vocalist’s cadence and timbre. But what if we had the opportunity to formulate our dream classic rock covers? To hear other iconic artists in their prime sing songs sung by other artists in their prime?

What if Janis Joplin got to sing Heart, or Ozzy Osbourne covered Kurt Cobain? What would it have sounded like to have these equally distinct artists put their spin on a classic rock hit associated with a different singer? How well would their voices be suited to these songs?

Yes, I know that technically there is an AI program that will do this. But that’s not what I’m after here. This is a journey of pure, speculative rock ‘n’ roll imagination, in which these dream mash-ups are left unheard in dreamland, untouched by digital resurrection tools. Ready?

Tom Petty: “Boys Of Summer”

Tom Petty almost had “Boys Of Summer”, but he let it slip through his fingers like sand on a beach. Mike Campbell, Petty’s Heartbreakers bandmate, wrote the music for the future Don Henley hit. Petty turned it down, which is how it ended up in the hands of Eagles’ drummer. Still, you can really hear how Campbell was leaning into Petty’s strengths when composing the song. I can imagine Petty pulling off “Boys Of Summer” perfectly.

Janis Joplin: “Barracuda”

Janis Joplin was a blues singer through and through, lamenting about men who treated her unkindly in her distinct, sandpapery rasp. If she ever had the chance to cover Heart’s “Barracuda”, there is no doubt in my mind that Joplin could have killed it. And that’s no disrespect to Ann Wilson. But hearing Joplin’s distinct wails and moans on this “no creeps allowed” cut definitely makes this one of my all-time favorite dream classic rock covers.

Freddie Mercury: “Renegade”

Freddie Mercury technically could have covered a version of Styx’s “Renegade”, as the original song came out in 1979. But Mercury certainly could have done the song justice. Between the solemn a cappella introduction to the climactic falsetto toward the end of the song, this classic rock cut was well within Mercury’s wheelhouse. I don’t doubt that the Queen frontman behind “Bohemian Rhapsody” would have found a way to make “Renegade” even more dramatic.

Ozzy Osbourne: “Smells Like Teen Spirit”

Although Ozzy Osbourne expressed his admiration for Kurt Cobain (and vice versa) while both rock ‘n’ rollers were alive, the world never got the dream classic rock cover we all deserved: Ozzy Osbourne doing “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana. Sure, Osbourne had a little less rasp in his voice than Cobain. But there would be something almost maniacal about the crisp, clear delivery Osbourne could have had on lines like, “Here we are now, entertain us!”

Jim Morrison: “Black Betty”

“Black Betty” was around long before Jim Morrison was even born, but the rendition I’m thinking of to close out this list of dream classic rock covers is Ram Jam’s from 1977. The Doors frontman had no shortage of experience doing odd, eccentric, and sometimes nonsensical rock songs, like “L.A. Woman” and “Alabama Song (Whisky Bar)”. I think Morrison’s version of “Black Betty” would have somehow been even raunchier.

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