Songwriter U: Rejection & Criticism As A Songwriter

“As long as you don’t stop, you’re unstoppable.”

Being a songwriter in the world is the best of jobs and the worst of jobs. It’s the best because we make songs. We make order out of chaos, and find harmony within the dissonance. We give meaning to an increasingly crazy world, and create something timeless in a time when nothing seems to last more than a moment. And we get to live inside of music, which remains one of mankind’s most beautiful forces, as mysterious as ever, and powerful. 

But it’s also the worst job in many ways, not only for the decimation and reconstruction of this industry we once knew, but because being a songwriter is a vulnerable position to be in.  To be a songwriter in this world –a creator of music – requires a singular sort of person. It takes someone who feels things deeply, deeply enough to reach down into that well of emotion and swirl of ideas, and capture it with the abstractions of music combined with the specificities of language.

Videos by American Songwriter

Of course, the kind of person who wants to do that – and is capable of it, even creating an entire career of it – is the kind of person who feels things deeply. Who might overthink some things, or all things. Who might linger often on the edges of obsession if not in its very core. Such is the source of art. Everyone knows sorrow, among other dynamics, is often at the heart of songs. And someone who connects so directly with sorrow, or any intense emotion,  is deeply hurt by criticism and rejection. So this songwriting thing can be painful. But it’s necessary pain.

It takes real courage to do what we do.  It takes chutzpah, as my mother would say. Creative courage. This is the business of putting your heart and soul out in the world, where everyone feels free to criticize and tear down what you’ve done. And it hurts. Songwriters, except if they’re genuine hacks, feel this stuff to our cores. And when somebody tears into one of your songs, it’s like an arrow straight to the heart. Because, as Randy Newman told me, songwriting is “life and death.” It’s everything. Nothing means more. Few things achieve the kind of bliss a songwriter experiences after completing a great one. And few things hurt more than unwarranted criticism.

Sure, constructive criticism is good and even necessary. Not always invited, and should be offered only when asked. But destructive criticism, well, that is quite a different matter. Any kind of rejection can be hurtful. Yet this is a business, not a humane organization created to coddle songwriters. This is an industry, and those in charge necessarily want something from you they feel will sell. And they determine what will sell by what is presently selling. At this very second.

Which means they aren’t going to be looking for your most experimental work. As great as we know it may be. They are not looking to stretch the envelope in any way. They want something that fits directly into that envelope. As those of us who have done this for more than a few days knows well.

So your challenge as a songwriter becomes not only the writing of songs, but the ability to withstand criticism and rejection. If you are not derailed by it, you can stay on track. If it does stop you, however, you won’t make any progress. Louis CK, the great comic, spoke of bringing this wisdom to life – the wisdom to withstand circumstances that don’t work well for you. “As long as you don’t stop,” he said, “you are unstoppable.”

Few words matter more in the ongoing challenge of remaining an artist in this industry, and creating art you know can be successful, if it is given a chance. But this is what it takes, and examples which prove this are abundant.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for a serious songwriter to pay attention to what critics say…. They don’t know what they’re talking about. Unless you write songs and make records, you just can’t know what it’s about.”
Paul Simon

Ready to learn more about the craft of songwriting?

Since 1984, American Songwriter has helped songwriters stay up to date, become inspired, and hone their craft. Many of the artists and songwriters we feature have been reading American Songwriter for years. Now, you can join them.

Keep in mind that few things are more subjective than a response to music. Even collaborators of famous songs didn’t recognize what they had at first. The most famous example is the writing of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow,” by Harold Arlen and Yip Harburg. Arlen had composed its famous melody, but his lyricist, Harburg, didn’t like it at all. He had yet to write the words, and felt this was all wrong, too sophisticated – and “like a torch song” – for a little girl in Kansas.

Arlen, however, knew what he had. So he invited his neighbor Ira Gershwin to hear it, and Ira suggested he simplify the accompaniment, and “play it like a folk song.” When Yip heard it in this new setting, he recognized the beauty of this tune, and wrote the iconic words to it.

Dave Brubeck told me that when he brought “Take Five” which Paul Desmond composed on his suggestion to their drummer Joe Morello’s 5/4 groove, to Columbia Records, they didn’t want to release it: “You don’t know the fights we had,” he said. “It wasn’t in 4/4 time. The sales-people said it could never work. Well, they were wrong. It worked.” 

To put it lightly. “Take Five” became the single most-played jazz record of all time. Yet those in charge were certain it couldn’t fly.

Record companies being wrong is nothing new, of course. Capitol Records, as well as every single American record company. except Vee-Jay, famously rejected the Beatles not once but many times. The prevailing wisdom at the time was that only singers can have hits in America – think Sinatra, Elvis, Chuck Berry, Little Richard, etc. – but groups, no. And per usual, that prevailing wisdom was entirely wrong, based only on the past with no vision of the future (which was the British invasion, which changed popular music forever and gave Capitol Records and others American labels their greatest success ever.)

Tom Petty told me when he brought in Full Moon Fever, he was told his label  wouldn’t release it. The reason? They didn’t “hear a hit.” He waited six months, by which time many of those executives who didn’t like it had been replaced. He brought in the same record, and they loved it. It became one of the greatest successes of an extremely successful career, garnering not one but four hit singles: “Free Fallin’,” “Running Down A Dream,” “I Won’t Back Down,” and “A Face In The Crowd.”

Tom Petty at the Hollwood Bowl 9.25.17. Photo by Paul Zollo/American Songwriter

Ray Evans, who with his partner Jay Livingston composed several standards, including “Silver Bells,” “Mona Lisa” and “Que Sera Sera,” told me that every one of their famous songs was turned down and criticized.

“Every hit we had was turned down all over the place,” Ray said. “`Mona Lisa’ was not even going to be released. Nat King Cole said, ‘Who wants this? Nobody will buy this.’ … `To Each His Own’ was laughed at. They said, ‘Who wants a song with that title?’ … We played `Buttons and Bows’ for the head of Famous Music, and he said, ‘We might be able to get a hillbilly record out of it. That’s the best we can do.’”

Even the singers themselves often didn’t grasp the greatness of their material, none more famously than Doris Day, who would only do one take of “Que Sera” because she so hated it that she didn’t want to sing it twice. It became the greatest hit of her career, and her theme song.

“That’s nothing against her,” Jay said, “It’s just that nobody knows.”

Well, there is somebody who knows. That’s you. The songwriter. You know better than anyone – be it a critic, an executive, a singer, or even a spouse. You know what you’ve got. You need to trust your heart, and trust your song. And know you’re not alone. So many of the great songwriters I’ve interviewed told me they suffered because of criticism and rejection. Their years of success did  nothing to protect them for this injury. Yet they used the pain to motivate them to move towards their next work.

Rickie Lee Jones said that she was singing at a campfire – years before she made her first album – and a total stranger insisted on telling her how awful her singing was. It made her cry. But she didn’t stop singing.

James Taylor told me that after Rolling Stone dubbed him the worst of all the “confessional songwriters,” it hurt him for years. But he kept going.

Paul Simon said he was so downhearted by the poor reception of his album Hearts and Bones that he felt nobody cared anymore, “nobody was listening.” But rather than indulge in self-pity, he followed his muse to South Africa and recorded the tracks that became Graceland. Figuring he’d lost his audience, he drowned his sorrow in music, and created a landmark in American popular music.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for a serious songwriter to pay attention to what [critics] say,” he said. “It’s just too hard. And it’s not informative. They don’t know what they’re talking about. Unless you write songs and make records, you just can’t know what it’s about.”

The moral, in the words of Ray Evans, is: “Never give up.” Being an artist in this world, and in this industry at this time, is bound to be painful. But that pain can be translated into song. You need to endure, and to keep going. The only thing that can stop you, ultimately, is you.

It helps to remember that what you do matters. Writing a song – in this world at this time – is a true achievement. The world doesn’t tell you to write songs. Often it encourages not creativity, but destruction. But songwriters bring songs to this world, and that is, as Van Dyke Parks said, “a triumph of the human spirit.” Whether one person hears your song or one million, it is a true triumph.  Which is why I echo Bob Dylan’s remark, “Thank God for songwriters.”

Ready to learn more about the craft of songwriting?

Since 1984, American Songwriter has helped songwriters stay up to date, become inspired, and hone their craft. Many of the artists and songwriters we feature have been reading American Songwriter for years. Now, you can join them.


Leave a Reply
  1. yeah the tards that think they know everything and got everything fiqured out critisized me for not nameing my material,,when i let our fans do that,,rock and roll was meant to be revalutionary,no conformity,true freedom,,i think u stars lost sight of that fact in your multi million dollar i know everything know what you can do! dont you!,i dont need your critique,,dont want your fraken advise, and i dont give a rats axx if my music is popular or not as long as it never gets played next to any of you sell outs,and your help is not required!,,veyron

  2. Beautifully written article – like a song in itself – that contains much wisdom and encouragement in a creative world where that is often bereft of such sentiments – except within the conviction of songwriters themselves.

    Thank you!

  3. All writers know the sting of rejection. As a multi-published novelist and short story writer, I’ve been there many times, having my words rejected because they were “too funny” or “not funny enough” or “uninspiring” or just because . . . .
    I stopped writing song lyrics when my father died over 25 years ago, and only came back to them during this pandemic. Sometimes I hear the music in my head, and sometimes it’s enough just to let the words flow and feel that I’ve captured something from inside me: sad, funny, fearful . . . whatever. Will anyone ever hear or appreciate what I’ve done? God knows. The fact is I’ve done it.

  4. Great article!!!
    I wish I had the guts I have now when I was in my 20’s! Nothing like “running out of time” to make you not listen to some things.
    I am 64 and started writing my own songs 2 years ago. Some of them I had a hard time sining because they made ME cry! And While there are people who tell me to start writing happy songs, it seems pain is easier to write about.
    John Prine said “Stay true to what you have inside you. Don’t write something because you think it will be a hit or what you think others might want to hear”
    I like that.

Leave a Reply

Eric Silverman Releases Psychedelic “As My Country Drifted Away (I Got Stoned)”