While accepting the Chairman’s Award at the Palm Springs Film Festival on Thursday (January 4) for her song “What Was I Made For?” Billie Eilish spoke about the dark place she was in before writing the hit in the Barbie movie. During her acceptance speech, she discussed the difficulties she faced before writing the song, co-written by her brother Finneas O’Connell.
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“I would really like to say that this award and any recognition that this song gets, I just want to dedicate to anyone who experiences hopelessness, the feeling of existential dread and feeling like, what’s the point, why am I here and why am I doing this?” Eilish began, per a report from NME. “I think we all feel like that occasionally, but I think if somebody like me, with the amount of privilege that I have and the incredible things that I get to do and be and how I have really not wanted to be here … sorry to be dark, damn, but I’ve spent a lot of time feeling that way.”
Unexpected Inspiration
“I just want to say to anyone that feels that way, be patient with yourself and know that it is, I think, worth it all,” said Eilish, adding she “was in a dark episode and things didn’t make sense in life” at the time she was asked to write a song for Barbie.
“I just didn’t understand what the point was and why you would keep going,” she admitted. “[I was] questioning everything in the world.” Eilish and O’Connell then watched a half hour of Barbie footage and used the message of the movie and Eilish’s mindset to spark unexpected inspiration.
“Basically I was just watching Barbie say and feel things that I really, really, really resonated with and felt so close to. I felt so seen, and I did not expect that,” Eilish continued. “I think that this movie is the most incredible, most empowering and beautiful and funny and just unbelievable piece of art in the world, and I’m so honored to be a part of it.”
Additionally, her older brother recently shared Eilish’s next album is “85 percent done.” According to O’Connell, there was a moment of writer’s block that temporarily stalled the project.
“I don’t think Billie was particularly sure about how she actually felt about the things we were trying to write about,” he explained in an interview with Mr Porter. “Making a thing that you feel really connected to – it can really evade you.”
Photo by Jerod Harris/FilmMagic
