The Angsty Meaning Behind Kelly Clarkson’s “Behind These Hazel Eyes”

When you have the team of Kelly Clarkson, Max Martin and Dr. Luke behind a song, it’s destined to be a hit. That rings true for “Behind These Hazel Eyes,” one of Clarkson’s career-defining songs. “Hazel Eyes” was in progress following Clarkson’s win on the inaugural season of American Idol in 2002, but wasn’t officially released until April 2005 as the second single off her sophomore album, Breakaway.

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Meaning Behind the Song

The song’s origins begin in Sweden in 2004 when Clarkson flew across the Atlantic Ocean to meet up with pop maestro Martin and hit producer Dr. Luke while working on Breakaway. The song is allegedly inspired by Clarkson’s then-relationship with David Hodges, a former member of Evanescence and a hit songwriter and producer. He is a co-writer on one of Clarkson’s other career-defining hits, “Because of You,” that’s also featured on Breakaway.

The lyrics convey a relationship wherein the singer felt a sense of safety and security that allowed her to open up and be vulnerable. But the song’s angst is a result of the subsequent breakup. Now all that’s left of me/Is what I pretend to be/So together, but so broken up inside, Clarkson sings before belting out in the chorus, Here I am/Once again/I’m torn into pieces/Can’t deny it/Can’t pretend/Just thought you were the one/Broken up, deep inside/But you won’t get to see the tears I cry/Behind these hazel eyes.

“I had literally been alone for two years, then ended up meeting this guy. Everybody does that – you’re alone, and then all of sudden you meet someone, you get excited about it, and that’s what you latch on to,” she allegedly explained in an interview with Blender about the meaning of the song (quote via Digital Spy). “It’s not so much the person as that experience – that life that you want…I’m friends with my two other ex-boyfriends, and it’s a shame because we probably won’t ever be able to be.”

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“Hazel Eyes” and “Since U Been Gone” were released in reverse of when the events took place, as “Hazel Eyes” details the unraveling of the relationship while “Gone” represents the freedom felt on the other side of the breakup. “‘Hazel Eyes’ is about the dipstick who completely screwed up and now is unhappy and you’re happy,” Clarkson described to Entertainment Weekly in 2005. “And then you’re just shouting praises at the fact that he’s miserable in ‘Since U Been Gone.’”

“Gone” was already a huge hit by the time “Hazel Eyes” hit the airwaves. Dr. Luke and Martin had a draft of “Hazel Eyes” sans lyrics that they sent to Clarkson and then-President of Clarkson’s label RCA Records, Clive Davis.”It was in part an olive branch to Kelly because there was miscommunication on ‘Since U Been Gone,’ where Kelly had written some lyrics and Max and I didn’t know about it and we had finished the song,” Dr. Luke recalled to Billboard in 2010. “So we wanted to write ‘Behind’ with her from the beginning, but we were in different places.”

He adds that the majority of lyrics were written via email since Clarkson was on tour at the time. The three wrote the bridge together in person.

“Behind These Hazel Eyes” reached No. 6 on the Billboard Hot 100 and was Clarkson’s first to hit No. 1 on the Adult Top 40 chart. It’s since been certified platinum by the RIAA for sales of more than one million copies.

Photo: Brian Bowen Smith / Courtesy of Atlantic Records